It’s hard to imagine that when I will be 45 my son might reblog from me
her voice says “comedic” but her face says “help me, i can’t listen to any more knock-knock jokes.”
and his face says that he just came up with 3 new knock-knock jokes while mowing.
"was that awkward eye contact or were we checking eachother out" - a life story
I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking slut
I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking virgin
you will never know which of these two statements reign true for people who reblogs this and that bothers me
boys who grab ur face with both hands when they kiss u win at pretty much everything
You know whats fucking scary? The fact that I could literally change my life at any moment. I could stop talking to everyone that makes me unhappy. I could kiss whoever i want. I could shave my head or get on a plane or take my own life. Nothing is stopping me. The entire world is in my hands, and I have no idea what to do with it.
the pizza guy is gonna put tonight on his résumé
i made this post about the oscars and the pizza guy but now i’m sure that 95% of the ppl reblogging it now are thinking i fucked a pizza guy when i did not there has been a grave misunderstanding here my friends